Emotions were running high. These two were each enraged by the other. Distrust pervaded the room. Both had just painted a picture of the other as ill intentioned and vindictive. Was there any way through this? My heart pumping, I plunged in. “You’re furious”, I said to Chris, “From your perspective, Pat is out to get you”.  Chris, still angry, replied, “Absolutely and I won’t take it”. “You believe you deserve more respect than you’re getting” I said. “That’s right” was the retort.

​What do you do when you’re feeling micro-managed?  How do you react to a new boss or one who suddenly acts as if they don’t trust you anymore? Trust in the workplace is at the heart of many a conflict that has caused good workers to look elsewhere for work. Trust goes both ways.

Trust between managers and the employees they manage or supervise is critical for a high functioning organization. Managers need to give their employees some decision making power and then trust them not to abuse that power. For their part, employees must trust managers not to punish them for mistakes when they are trying to do the right thing for the organization. Research has shown that trust between employees and those formally responsible for their behavior has a positive effect on the organization’s financial performance.

So what do you do when you feel like your boss doesn’t trust you? Active listening may be a good place to start. Try starting a conversation about the discomfort you’re feeling. Describe a recent incident where you didn’t feel trusted. Be specific about the facts without judging the actions or words of the other person. Ask the other person for their reaction.

When the person has finished giving their reaction or explanation, check for understanding by paraphrasing what you’ve heard. You don’t need to repeat what they’ve said, simply summarize the main points and ask if you’ve got it right. This gives people an opportunity to clarify what they are trying to say and gives you the chance to see if the meaning you are hearing is what is being conveyed. If when they are finished you still don’t understand, ask clarifying open-ended questions, such as “Can you elaborate on what you mean by...”

Using these simple techniques will lead to more productive conversations and more trust in the workplace. If you and others in the workplace would like to learn more about how to establish and maintain trust in the workplace, call ACDRS and ask about our training series. For interpersonal conflicts that don’t seem to improve, ask about mediation. Through mediation, people can try new methods of communicating with each other in a safe environment. Don’t let mistrust build in your organization. Instead, take some steps today to move your workplace towards being a high functioning organization.

​Yes, and “life’s not fair”.  But where does that get you in the workplace? When people feel like their boss is treating them unfairly or a co-worker seemingly gets more privileges, complaints and grievances go up and morale goes down.

In our society, both individualism and equality are valued, but these values can clash when making decisions. Everyone thinks their situation is unique and justifies an exception to the rule. And rigid adherence to rules will garner its own problems.

So what does it mean to be fair? It may be fair to grant an exception. Or maybe it's more fair to adhere to a policy that applies evenly to all.

What fairness means may be different for everyone. Fairness means a measure against a standard of some kind. And standards can have many sources.  Standards of fairness may come from the law. But what each of us considers fair may still vary because legal standards are not the only standards we have learned and that we may live by. We might use standards that we learned in our family (cultural standards). Some of us use standards that we learned in church (moral or religious standards). Others use standards that are a collection of acceptable practices (industry standards).

Because there are different sources of fairness, it can become a source of conflict. And because circumstances vary as much as personalities, this creates conflict but also opportunity. Alternate dispute resolution and mediation provide the opportunity to craft solutions that work for the unique situation and parties involved. The parties get to decide what is fair for them using the standards that are right for them and their circumstances. At the same time, if they can’t agree, settlement is entirely voluntary and no one loses the right to resort to a legal standard in court.